and it all comes back to...

...my breath, and remembering to breathe. these days have found me a bit worked up; my knees feel weak, my head feels light, and not so uncommon are the times when i fumble around in the kitchen where i work looking like a complete goober and trying to remember the last time i permitted myself the luxury of one nice full breath.

why must it be a luxury? because i like the difficult route. apparently.

aaaaaaahhhhhh...

okay, i feel my heart opening a bit, a strengthening in the knees, an awareness of (oh yes!) the earth below me. these are big things, huge things, why they seem so elusive at times baffles me.

but this wasn't meant to be an advertisement of the space cadet that i am, but rather an opening and a welcoming to what i hope can become a useful tool for maintaining connections between my friends. while this is something that has not come naturally for me in the past, more and more i am realizing the importance of continuing to nurture the relationships i develop even after we have parted physically. and this has been happening a lot the past couple of years, and all this moving around doesn't seem like it is going to stop anytime soon. so now as i move on to yet another space and stage in my life i would like to say to you all...i love you, let's keep in touch.

so now that the pleasantries have been exchanged, it's time to sink our teeth into, specifically, what am i all worked up about? oh i love the self-indulgence in blogging! but anyways, it's my last week at lost valley. while i have many issues to address on that manner alone, i'm going to keep it brief for the day (mostly because i have an appointment in the kitchen to make jam with steph and amy), but i would like to note that it is becoming quite a reality for me. finally. as it is hitting me square in the face. and while i feel more than anything it is right for me to be making this transition right now, it doesn't make the waiting any easier. neither does the fact that anytime anyone does something at all cute, i long to fold them up all nice and tidy and pack them away with the rest of my things. talk about baggage.