bah, anniversaries.

i suppose i was like most americans, when i let the anniversary of the invasion of iraq pass without so much of a glance. the equinox too, geez i'm slacking. i lit a candle and said a prayer and offered a beer (a real one, not one of the pbr tall boys i've been settling for) for more peace and love and solidarity. and i did accompany kenin up to seattle so he could sell some music equipment to a guitarist in a band called embryonic devourment. i thought that was a satisfying, figurative representation of my disgruntlement: i'm pissed, i listen to metal music, and i hang out with people who don't even give babies a chance to become babies, or even fetuses for that matter, before they consume them.

oh, and for the record, mr. devourment was actually quite polite and soft-spoken.

but i wonder sometimes, what is the use of anniversaries or holidays if they just become a little thing that distinguishes only a slight difference in another day? or even worse, if they become only a source of more distraction and annoyance for us in their passing?

at one point, holidays held a more potent place in our society. but this was when we were unable to seperate ourselves from the turning of nature, and so our cause for celebration was more heart-felt then habitual. we didn't always have the desire and technology to consider ourselves superior than the world, after all. or the bruteness for that matter. i'd like to think that at one time too, our governments were not so ballsy as to view themselves as seperate from their citizens. so that the passing of an anniversary of an action so grossly unpopular would actually hold some weight. now we're at year six, it's becoming a habit to celebrate this. a bad one we know, but bad habits certainly don't die easily. you probably know that i'm in the process of trying to stop smoking. again.

and don't get me wrong, i see the tide as turning drastically in light of recent events. hello economic and food crises and climate change and all sorts of other fun that can no longer be ignored or talked around, even by a most charming and, i'd like to think, well meaning person as our president. however, i still see the voices of the many getting trampled by the powerful who will acknowledge their presence now only to keep us complacent. and at that point, i think a lot of our efforts as the people united are diluted by small dramas and pettiness.

we're all human, i know and i love unconditionally. especially since so many "fringe" movements and beliefs are becoming standard these days. "change" is certainly a worthy platform, one that we can't let fritter away to become another depthless slogan. but it takes a lot to create depth and worth in a society that runs on the consumer's/citizen's ability to be easily swayed by those above them. especially when those above them are quite content to let it all stay how it is until it sinks. for me, i think, my major cause in life has not become any one in particular and it most certainly cannot be lumped into one ideology or set of beliefs. for me these days, it's more about staying real and staying smart and recognizing beauty and goodness.

i don't know how to end this without pointing fingers, because i hate it when people point fingers. i guess i just wanted to ramble on holidays and anniversaries, because a few have already passed this year that have left me feeling quite unsatisfied. and perhaps its trite of me to compare an annivesary of an occupation with say, an anniversary of my last major relationship, but it all goes to show how little it all means if we don't feel what we're doing to our core. we make crappy choices and lead people on for years. microcosms of macrocosms, i like that theme. or something like that, take it or leave it.